7 of the oddest named cocktails that you need to order at least once in your life
Apr 25, 2018
The Fuzzy Navel
Who would order this drink, what on earth is in it and why did it get this name? Well, although the name suggests otherwise, it’s actually a pretty tasty concoction of Peach Schnapps (fuzzy skin) and orange juice (as in navel orange – ha! Get it?); so this tipple is for anyone who likes a fruity treat or a surreptitious way to drink at breakfast. Now all that’s left to figure out is exactly how to order it and still manage to look suave (if you do happen to figure it out, let us know).
A Short Trip To Hell
This name is less about the ingredients and more about the flavour and effect of the actual cocktail. The base is a mixture of peach, strawberry and wildberry schnapps, which is then finished off with a can of Red Bull and a shot of Jägermeister to brew up a truly lethal concoction. If you’re bold enough to order this weapon of a drink, then give Lucifer our regards on your trip down.
Sand In The Crack
Ever wondered what comes after sex on the beach? Ladies and gents, this is your answer. A Sand In The Crack cocktail is made with a tropical mix of coconut rum, spiced rum and pineapple juice that’s finished with a float of cranberry juice. It’s heavier and more well-rounded than its punchy predecessor and sounds just about perfect for some gritty, post-coital spooning ‘underneath the mango tree’, if you get what we mean.
Death In The Afternoon
A decadent and potent take on the classic Bellini cocktail, apparently invented by original alpha male and writer, Ernest Hemingway. Here are the instructions to properly prepare a Death in the Afternoon, from the man himself:
‘Pour one jigger absinthe into a Champagne glass. Add iced Champagne until it attains the proper opalescent milkiness. Drink three to five of these slowly.’
We imagine that anyone downing three to five of these over a Champagne brunch would feel like death come three o’clock too.
Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against A Wall
This is one of our all-time favourite cocktail names – not because it sounds cheeky and ordering one would put a blush on even the sleaziest of punters’ faces, but because this cocktail is quite literally what’s written on the tin. Let us try to unpack it for you now. Slow – sloe gin, comfortable – Southern Comfort, screw – vodka (from the classic orange-and-vodka Screwdriver cocktail) and up against a wall – Galliano (taken from the Harvey Wallbanger, which is essentially a Screwdriver with a shot of Galliano). Now, we reckon this kind of impressive wordplay deserves a round (woo!) or five of applause.
Sex With An Alligator
Keep in mind the vivid imagery that this name suggests and then imagine what that might taste and feel like in your mouth. Named for the luminescent green of the Midori shaken with sweet and sour mix, this layered cocktail is then finished off with a bottom of raspberry liqueur (often Chambord) and a top of Jägermeister. The sweet, spicy, sour, fruity and savoury notes in this cocktail all vie for your tastebuds’ attention and will leave your flavour receptors well and truly worn out.
James The Evil Leprechaun
More of a batch shot than a cocktail, this Paddy’s Day classic is made by mixing two measures of Jameson’s with one measure of Bushmills, Tullamore Dew and Powers. It’s then stirred over ice with a little water to tone down the heat if desired. This drink might sound evil, but given these whiskeys’ soft, caramel flavour profiles it actually ends up being a fairly well-rounded, albeit potent shooter. We’re hoping that James The Pickled Evil Leprechaun’s On His Back Again will be this drink’s next iteration.
So, next time you find yourself leaning against a bar top at cocktail hour, you can not only deconstruct the Latin root of ‘hammered’ but also order something a little more left field – it may just surprise you that these artful concoctions are much more than clever names. Bottoms up!